Red's aunty is a witch.

"Stop calling me that," she said irritably.

We were sitting in Red's living room. I don't really like Red's new house, it's... girly. There are flowers and candles everywhere I look. I can't sit on what little furniture she has, because I'm afraid I'll break something. Her glasses and coffee cups are sized for delicate little womanish hands instead of hands like mine, which are the size of platters compared to Red's. Being in her house is like visiting a Zen monastery decorated by Betty Boop. It practically screams, "Boys suck, stay out!" And there are no doors in her house, except in the bathroom! There are two things that make up for how uncomfortable her house is: Red's cooking, and the fact that Red's aunty is a witch.

I have to say, she doesn't seem the type. If the woman owns a single sexy article of clothing, I've never seen it. Hell, if she even owns anything that isn't black, I haven't seen it. Her hair is cut off as short as any boy's and is dyed black, she wears black eyeliner in thick lines around her eyes, and her skin has that whiteness that only comes to someone who actively hides from the sun. Nevertheless, I haven't seen anyone less Goth or witch-y since I stopped going to Church. She makes no attempt to hide her age, her weight, or her emotions, nor does she make any attempt to draw attention to herself. She looks like someone would much rather be sitting in a room by herself than interacting with her fellow human beings. I can't say I've ever taken much notice of her before.

It occurred to me now that I should have felt blessed by that.

I never would have asked this woman for advice if I'd had any options. I can't trust the vampire; he may not hide the fact that he's a liar, but that doesn't exactly make him honest about anything else, and I can't shake the feeling that he has an agenda. Other than the corpse, though, I have absolutely no acquaintance with the magical types. I've heard that there's a thriving magical community in Wichita; I've never seen it.

"Oh, fine," she said, and if the expression on her face was anything to go by, she'd said it under extreme duress, which probably had to do with the look on Red's face. "If you want to hear it, then I'll tell you about magic. On one condition... two, really."

I raised my eyebrow.

"First, you don't interupt me. I don't want to be in the middle of something, only to have you interrupt me with some half-assed idea of what you think I'm saying. I hate that. If you do that, I'm not going to keep wasting my breath on you. You want to hear what I have to say, you need to listen to what I'm saying."

That seemed easy enough. "And the other?" I asked.

"You need to take your mind out of whatever place it's been in until now. Obviously you think you have reason to suddenly start believing in magic, but that isn't going to help you when I say something you don't want to hear. Can you do that?"

"I can try," I said slowly.

Red frowned at her aunty.

The woman stood up. "Bring yourself," she said shortly, and I followed her through Red's kitchen, the utility room, and out the back door. Red had already locked her dog into the garage; Tennessee, Brenda's mother, hadn't liked me anymore than Brenda had initially. The diffference was that I wasn't Tenn's master, and she had a family of her own to protect. At least having her locked up meant that there was no unhappy dog running around the backyard, which I was glad of when the aunty dragged me out into the middle of the grass and tugged at me until I was kneeling beside her.

"The first thing, and the most important thing, that you need to know about magic, is where it comes from," she said, and bit her lip. "Magic comes from energy, just like everything else. The act of using your will to channel energy is the process of doing magic. Follow me?"

"Like electricity?"

"Yes, just like that. Don't interrupt me again. Put your hand down to touch the ground, and close your eyes." She led by example, and I mimicked her. "You need to expand your consciousness," I heard her say from the other side of my eyelids. "Feel the sun on your head, the wind, the grass under your hand. Open your mind. Understand, throughout everything, that you are a part of the world, connected to it, like one of the switches on an electrical board. Maybe you feel the energy surging. To some people, it's like a heartbeat. Can you feel the thumping of the Universe's heartbeat?"

I concentrated, I really did. The grass was getting long and needed cut, it tickled my palm, the sun was hot. I think there was a fly buzzing in my ear. I could hear the sounds of traffic, the long mourning wail of a train whistle, kids playing somewhere on the block. I could smell rain and wet dirt and what I thought was probably a pile of Tennessee's shit nearby. But I really did try.

"I don't feel it," I said finally, and opened my eyes to see her grinning at me as though she'd just told an amusing joke. "Are you fucking with me?" I demanded. Dammit, this was all I needed. I was in for a world of hurt, and this chick thought it was funny?

She took my hand, guiding it to her chest and over her heartbeat just as she positioned her own hand over my heart. "Close your eyes," she ordered, and fuming, I did. "Do you feel it now?"

I think I did. I probably wouldn't have felt it, if she'd put my own hand over my heart. It made a lot of difference, the same difference between jacking off and getting a handjob from someone else. I could feel the weight of my heart beating under her palm, the warmth in her hand coming through my shirt, the breath in my lungs lifting my chest. I could feel the life in me.

"Do you get it? You're already a part of the Universe, like a circuit is already part of the electrical board. What you need is inside you. You don't have to reach for it, it's already there. You just have to learn to control it."

"But how would I fight it if it's coming from someone else?"

"How do you fight it when someone tells you to get up and walk across the room, if you don't want to do it?"

"I say no."

"Huh-uh. Saying no is not the act, it's the result. Simplify it. The first step is deciding that you're not going to do it. Magic is directing energy to make a change. It's imposing one's will on something else to do what you desire that thing to do. In this case, something outside yourself is trying to impose its will upon your actions. Are you just going to sit there and let it?"

"But how?"

I felt her hand yanked away, and opened my eyes to see her scowling at me ferociously. "What do you mean, how?" she said scathingly. "How do you take your hand out of the cookie jar when you know you're trying to lose those pounds? How do you know to drink a pop instead of beer because you're the one driving? I can't teach you how to discipline yourself, Julian. Jesus, I didn't think I'd have to! You prevent it from affecting you by not letting it affect you."

"But what if it's stronger than I am?"

"Then you're fucked, aren't you?" She cut her eyes to the side, and huffed out a breath. "I'm told that there are people in the world who are great witches and mages," she said slowly. "That they can accomplish real things. I've never seen anyone who can do that, though. I've met people who were positive that they'd had spells cast on them, and people who were positive that they could cast a spell on others. In all these cases, the effects happened because one's will was stronger than the other's. They... I guess you could say, psyched the other one out. Most people wouldn't call that magic. They'd call it... psychology, or religion, or just plain bullshit. I've never seen the old kind of magic, the kind that Merlin was supposed to have done. The kind that actually changes something. I don't know what you would do, if you came across that kind of power. I suppose, in that case, you wouldn't be able to fight it off completely. But you could still probably mitigate it." She looked at me again. "Is that answer enough for you?"

It would have to be.

Talking to Red's aunty is usually only pleasant if she likes you, or if she's drunk. Sometimes not even then. Still, she said a lot of other things today that I'll have to think about. She's also the second person who's given me reason to believe that I might be capable of controlling what's most likely to happen to me, at least to some degree. I'll have to learn to control it, or it will control me. That simply can't be allowed to happen.