InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "I'm the man."

jcipres (jcipres) wrote,
@ 2007-10-12 02:58:00

Current mood:

scared

Anecdotes and circumstances
I am not a stupid person.

I'm a rational man. I prefer to look at empirical evidence rather than anecdotal. The reason I'm an atheist, and why I don't believe in angels, demons, ghosties and goblins and other things that go bump in the night, is not because I'm afraid to believe in these things. It's because I've never seen any reason to believe that these concepts exist anywhere outside the human imagination. I know that the imagination is a scarier place than reality can ever be. Nevertheless, since one cannot prove a negative, one cannot positively assert that it is impossible that these things exist; attempting to do so is merely arrogance masquerading as rationality. It's a highly improbable thing to happen, but if an angel were to walk up to me and slap me in the face, I'm not so arrogant that I'll refuse to take anecdotal evidence into consideration. As Sherlock Holmes said, once you have eliminated the impossible, whatever is left, however improbable, must be the truth.

There are things that have been happening lately, and things that I've been doing, that are... odd.

One of my co-workers started her period today. Normally, that's not only not the sort of thing I'd have known, it's also not the sort of thing I'd care to know. And yet, I could swear I smelled the blood before she stood up and excused herself from the meeting.

Last night, I growled at Brenda. Growled. Not just a "grrrrr," I mean a literal, deep-in-the-chest, "get off me, bitch," warning kind of growl. The kind of sound that human throats aren't supposed to make. My poor baby gave me a look she's never given me before, and tore out of the kitchen with her tail between her legs. I had to rub her ears and talk softly to her for awhile before she forgave me.

Monday, one of my co-workers came into the restroom and used the urinal I had just used, while I was washing my hands. I've never had a problem with this man before, but just then, I had the strongest urge to punch him in the face.

I had sex with Ben Sunday night. Wait, that's wrong. I fucked Ben Sunday night. I hadn't thought I was really in the mood, but he smelled so good. Enticing. The bruise is fading, but you can still see the marks where I bit the hell out of his shoulder. He said he didn't really mind, but how can he not? And I certainly mind.

My shoulder is completely healed. I can resume my normal workout, including push-ups and weights. If it weren't for the scars and the fact that I had to pay for a few things that my health insurance refused, I'd think nothing had ever happened.

I've been smelling things, or else I've been paying attention to smells, that I've never smelled before. My hearing seems to be sharper. I have odd impulses. By themselves, each circumstance means nothing. I could be attempting to assign an extraordinary reason for ordinary things. Perhaps it was intuition combined with the fact of a small and enclosed conference room, leading me to believe that I could smell blood. Maybe I just lost my temper with Brenda; I have a very deep voice anyway. Maybe I've always been a violent lover, and Ben's submissiveness brought it out in me. Perhaps I'm in such good shape that I shouldn't be surprised to heal quickly. Maybe, perhaps, could be.

Taken together, though? Coming less than a month after I was attacked by a dog-like animal that didn't really act like a dog, and certainly didn't look like any breed of dog I've ever seen before?

As I said, I'm not stupid. I just wish I didn't feel so ridiculous.

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vale
2007-10-12 07:48 pm UTC (link)

Well, you are ridiculous, but not in this situation. And, unfortunately, I can't even say you are stupid, mores the pity. I would say you have added things up quite well. Even more, I would say that sweet little Ben is starting to show his true colors, just as I told you he would. He likes it rough and just didn't want you to know it. Smack him around, throw him down, and show him how hot you find him. He'll be your slave, I bet.

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jcipres
2007-10-13 05:34 am UTC (link)

So... you did know. And have been having a merry time laughing up your sleeve, I'm sure.
I'm still not sure I'm not having a waking nightmare. The truth will come out in 13 nights, though.

I know you don't like Ben for some reason, but leave him out of this - I victimized him, for Christ's sake. I imagine with your lifestyle that enough people have victimized you, or at least attempted to do so, that you should have some empathy. I don't care what happens in 13 nights, I'm not going to start allowing myself to act like an animal.

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vale
2007-10-13 06:23 am UTC (link)

My dear Julian, you are an animal. You are already acting like one. A filthy, nasty, mindless beast. And, of course, I knew. We of the night occasionally bump into each other you understand. However, I think we may be the first pair to meet in the blind darkness of the Internet.

I did hold out some hope for you. Honestly. But your kind's traits began to shine through quickly. I'm most surprised, though, that you have figured it out. For what its worth, I think you are perfectly suited to your new life.

Maybe Ben can be your first sweet little snack. Might as well victimize just one human, instead of some random stranger coming home late at night. Or maybe, it'll be someone you know? Someone out, maybe getting her keys out to go in her home. Maybe her daughter is on the other side, waiting for her. And that's when you'll strike, tearing her red head right off her neck. I hear your kind goes for those they like. It's instinctual. I wonder if you know your own attacker. Hmmm. Lovely thoughts to entertain, don't you think? Who among your friends and family tried to eat you on the last full moon?

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jcipres
2007-10-13 07:13 am UTC (link)

I see. Having gone back through all of your comments to my blogs, I think I really do see it, now. You think Ben is the one who attacked me, don't you? That's the basis of your prejudice against him, isn't it?

Nasty, mindless beast, hm? Is that worse than being a dancing corpse, then? Is there some Grotesque scale that "we of the night" are measured by?
Nice scare tactics, though. A little doubt, a little misdirection, and, oooooooh, pretty soon I'll be staring at myself in the mirror, looking for the monster. Cue the sound track.
Pfft. Bitch, please. Quit trying to fuck with my head.

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vale
2007-10-13 07:27 am UTC (link)

Ha! Doggy won his biscuit!

You'll have to forgive my sleight of hand routine. True, it was fun, but I also would be kicked out of the union if I revealed too much. After all, there was a very, very slim chance you'd come through with nothing more than a scar and a story.

My issue with little Ben is exactly what I said: he's a liar and a deceiver, obviously. No one puts up with the crap he did/does. Not unless they are disturbed. And Ben fits the bill, doesn't he?

And yes, there is a scale. Those of us who can control ourselves and blend in with our food are at the top. Hairy, insane beasts are at the bottom. So sorry. Your collar and leash will be arriving shortly. Remember to bow to your betters when you pass them in the street.

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jcipres
2007-10-13 07:42 am UTC (link)

You'd be funny if you weren't so... pathetic, really. Collar and leash? And who is going to put that collar and leash on me? One of your kind?
I don't think so.
I don't bow to white men, I don't bow to straight men, and I'm sure as hell not going to bow to a parasite that refuses to admit that it's already dead. Something that's along the lines of a cockroach that's had it's head cut off, no matter how much it tries to pretend otherwise.

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vale
2007-10-13 05:30 pm UTC (link)

You have been watching a few too many movies with Christopher Lee starring. Just as you will transform once or twice a month, so did I. But I only did it once. It is true that I no longer need to breathe, my heart only beats once or twice a day, and the only thing that grows on me is my nails and hair, but that does not make me a corpse. It makes me beautiful and young forever. Unlike you. Your beauty will be ripped away and replaced with disgusting hair, disgusting teeth, and a bad case of overgrown nails. You should thank your friend for suggesting you shave your head. Enjoy it now.

There are rules, Julian. Rules to being a "creature". You'll be the one putting on the collar yourself, or you'll find yourself hunted and exterminated by your own kind. And if they don't or can't, then my kind steps in. None of us need some puppy making a ruckus and making all the modern people start to look up from their cell phones and ipods. The sheep need to be kept unaware and then we can feed on them without problems.

Did you know that you'll have to be quarantined for three months once you have made your first change? You will tell all your family and friends that you are going away to "find yourself" and then you will be kept in a quiet place, a fenced in compound or a large locked building perhaps. There you'll be tossed fresh meat of questionable origin and watched to make sure you are strong and capable enough to survive in the open world. If not, they quietly put a silver bullet right through your brain, cut your head off and bury it somewhere, then they feast on your body. Gruesome practices, but there isn't much more to expect from your new "family".

But you are smart. Very smart, really. If you were to come out this way, I'd keep you safe. All you'd have to do is be fierce and intimidating, look pretty, and stick close to me and I would make sure the mongrels stayed away from you. I think that is a fair deal, don't you?

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jcipres
2007-10-13 06:07 pm UTC (link)

I'm not really in the mood to fuck around with you today, silly little corpse. I will say two things, though:

First, you really need to stop believing your own hype. There is nothing beautiful about you. There is nothing beautiful about your people. You're a thing, not a person. You don't even have the natural grace and beauty of animal, because you're a thing against nature and are therefore as ugly as a fish out of water. There is a reason things like you only come out at night - it's because the lies you wrap yourself in aren't strong enough to bear up under the truth of the day.
Second, there are always rules. But rules are written by the strongest. I suppose I should be glad you've given me the heads-up, but frankly, you make me sick.

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vale
2007-10-13 06:33 pm UTC (link)

Oh ho! Tough talk from a man, if I may use that term as loosely as I can, who isn't 100% sure what he is anymore.

In what authority can you claim that I am against nature? Was I made by humans? Was I created by a machine, pumped out of a factory? Of course not. And neither, my darling beast, were you. We are both Mother Nature's children born on the wrong side of the blanket.

And no, rules are written by the smartest. They are enforced by the strongest. Hence your possible job here in L.A. I assure you that there is plenty of hot man meat here. For both snacking and companionship.

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jcipres
2007-10-13 06:58 pm UTC (link)

You weren't born this way, any more than I was. You were made to be this way by whoever turned you. The same as myself. The difference between us is, I haven't died.

As for the rules... You, yourself, have already said that I'm smart. "Very smart, really." That's a kind of strength, too.

Silly little corpse. You're not the first guy who's sprung a stiffie because of me. But you really need to understand that you are never going to master me. It's not in your nature. I don't mean your other nature. I mean your nature.

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vale
2007-10-13 07:27 pm UTC (link)

You haven't died? Wouldn't you have if your new life hadn't taken over and healed you? You would have bled out and died on your own front step. But instead, you were transformed. Tell me how my own change was any different.

This is ridiculous. I am debating preternatural biology and philosophy with an infant. I have seen your kind. I have seen them hunt down and tear a man apart while he screamed. I have seen them sit obediently at the side of one of my own; a guard and a companion. And when I say "see" I mean that I was physically present. It was not viewed on a screen while actors played their parts. No, I was there. I smelled the blood, heard the flesh and bone rip. You can not say the same. You are right, there is grace in the animal. But there is also mindless carnage and compassionless brutality.

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What the Fuck!!!!!

reddiamond
2007-10-17 05:11 am UTC (link)

Ok first of all, Julian, you sound like you're pregnant and paranoid. You got all the same symptoms I had when my belly was full of baby girl!
And what is this with Vale really being a blood suckin' vampire. ummm, I feel like I'm actually in one of CW's vampire novels that I borrowed. Ok if all this is real boys, then Julian, you need to bring your ass over to my house to talk right now!!!! Not later, now!!! And Vale, I would appreciate it if my head, neck, or any other body part of mine was left out of you and Julian's arguments. Especially when it involves ripping, teeth, or any thing else of the sort!!!!!

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